Our date at the Saint Mary’s Polish Festival took our relationship to the top of the world—and James and I stayed there for a while. We filled that summer with long evening walks, dripping ice cream cones (or cups!), and deep conversations about our families, futures, and world.
James called this blissful dating period “the summer of love”.
For my part, “the summer of love” was a bumpy ride. Externally things were going well, but internally I was often overcome with feelings of sadness and confusion.
Why, Lord?
One Tuesday night, I placed my Bible and journal in my bag and headed to the adoration chapel.
Upon entering, I tiptoed past a few other adoration goers and took the seat closest to the front. Our Lord was displayed in a golden monstrance studded with red and violet stones.
I knelt before the monstrance, drinking in the peaceful atmosphere of the candlelit space. I had come with my own prayer plans, but now that I was here, it seemed more important just to be with the Lord.
How are you, Mary? I imagined the Lord asking. Immediately, my interior doubts, anxiety, and sorrow rushed back into my heart. Outside this chapel, there were many distractions; inside, with my gaze on Jesus, there was just the truth.
I missed the convent so much. I’d spent 19 months learning how to be a sister, and just when I’d started getting the hang of it, the Lord called me home. Now I had to start all over again. Except I couldn’t really start over. The Mary who entered the convent was not the same Mary who came out. I still felt at a loss on how to relate with the outside world, now that I was home. At a loss about what the future held.
My eyes filled with tears as I gazed at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.
Lord, why did You send me back home? What do you want me to do here?
My Body
And the Lord answered.
You have something to say, dearest. And I want you to say it…
Be a hope and a beacon and a stronghold in the bitter night. Someone is waiting to read your story and be changed forever. Someone’s salvation may depend on your little contribution to their conversion story—the realization that there is truth, goodness, beauty in the world. That I am its source. That I love them. If you do not tell them the truth about Me, then who will? They are My Body, Mary—heal My Body!
The Lord spoke the last words with such urgency, both in that chapel and at other times during my daily routine: My Body, My Body!
I was out of the convent now, away from its Rule of prayer, work and study. Yet I was still with the Lord when I tended to His Body—to the people within His Church. To all the people within the world. Christ was present in each human person—that was where I would find Him now.
A Heart for Teens
During those first post-convent months, I discovered Christ’s presence first in my family, then in James, and then with the parish teens.
At the end of May, I received an official job offer for a tutor position with Regina Caeli Academy. Regina Caeli was the hybrid homeschooling academy my parish priest had told me about when I first came home.
The tutor position was for the upper school, grades 7-12. The part-time position would begin in August. The pay was very modest, but so were my current living expenses. Most important, I would get to work with the teens!
I emailed James the news and my course lineup:
Geometry
Medieval History 8 (yay!)
Language Arts 7
Grammar and Composition 9
Second Form Latin (yikes!)
I had some serious concerns about Second Form Latin. Except for the hymns we’d sung in the convent, I didn’t know a thing about Latin forms.
“Looks like I have some studying to do this summer,” I sighed.
“That’s okay, Mary. I can help you,” James offered.
When it came to Latin assistance, James was as good as his word. We found a Panera Bread halfway between our houses, and started meeting there to begin our dates together. James would quiz me on my first form Latin, and then we’d walk up and down Big Beaver Road and talk about our days.
At the same time, I started volunteering for my parish’s LifeTeen group, mostly behind the scenes. Kristin*, the youth minister, tasked me with finding summer volunteer opportunities.
“I want the teens to be able to interact with the people they’re serving,” Kristin said. “A chance to talk and see their neighbors face to face.”
It took some research and a lot of phone calls and emails, but Kristin and I did find some great volunteering events for the teens. That summer, we served meals at a local homeless shelter, played games and crafts with developmentally disabled adults, and distributed clothes and other necessities in a low-income neighborhood of Detroit.
Kristin’s fierce work ethic and passion for the teens both inspired and challenged me.
“It takes a long time to develop good relationships with the teens,” Kristin counseled me. “That’s why we have the Core members commit to volunteering for at least a full year—and maybe more.”
My post-convent mind, so entrenched in the present moment, could hardly fathom the idea of knowing the teens for years. When every week outside the convent brought me so much change, looking even one year ahead seemed so far away.
Still, I was excited to take my first few steps into the adventure. And with James and my family’s support, I could begin to look at my immediate future, at least, with a little more hope.
“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you…plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.”- Jeremiah 29:11
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*Name changed
Thank you so much for reading! Join me next week for more post-convent adventures! 🙂
Great posts, Mary! Thank you, as always, for sharing this incredible journey… I love the Jeremiah verse!
Thank you, Tricia! This is a fun part of the story to write about. 🙂 Yes, that Jeremiah verse has encouraged me many times over the years!
Love this Mare! I remember that cross from the picture 🙂
Thank you, April! I thought this cross was perfect for the Body of Christ analogy in the post. 🙂